April 28, 2002

Slim Concert Pickins For Montreal Music Fans

If you are a Montreal music fan and are looking forward to checking out some rock concerts this summer, do not hold your breath. Today's grab-as-much-money-as-you-can-as-quick-as-you-can artists are avoiding Montreal like the plague. This issue was highlighted by rock music's ultimate has been, Paul McCartney, reportedly demanding $1 million US to play in Montreal (that is a staggering $1.6 million Canadian).

Why are today's artists staying away from Montreal? Is it the weak Canadian dollar ($1.00 Can = $0.64 US)? Is it the amusement tax which is imposed on artists by the Canadian and/or the Quebec government? Or are these washed up artists just scared shitless to perform in front of fans who know they are snowing them?

After all, Montreal is not some butt fuck American venue where you can perform some half-ass concert and collect your paycheck without the audience noticing how shitty your performance really was.

Montreal is a city which has a rich entertainment and nightlife industry. From its nightclubs to its strip joints, this place is built around nightlife. Everywhere you go, you hear music - quality music. It also hosts the Montreal Jazz Festival, where REAL musicians come to perform. So what gives?

The weak Canadian dollar may be a factor. Why should artists play a concert and collect only 64% of what they would collect in an American venue? After all, today's artists are only looking out for themselves, not the fans who made them wealthy. The next time I hear some phony asshole artist saying how much he appreciates and loves his fans, I am going to vomit all over his vinyl.

Interestingly enough though, the weak Canadian dollar has not prevented many artists from scheduling concerts in Toronto (known to Montrealers as the "city of the living dead" - Quebecers please check your culture at the Ontario border). Therefore, this argument does not hold much water with Montrealers.

Then there is the issue of the amusement tax. Truthfully, I do not know whether this tax is provincial or federal. If Quebec charges touring artists an additional amusement tax and Ontario does not, then this may also be a factor for artists staying away.

If this is the case, the government (provincial and/or federal) needs to take a long and hard look at this amusement tax. Dropping or even lowering this tax would, no doubt, stimulate the Canadian economy. The government could then recoup their tax dollars from the increased business provided by touring artists.

Now let us move on to the music fan IQ issue. From the teenager to the senior citizen, everyone in Montreal knows their music. Again, Montreal is not some culturally deprived shithole venue whose population does not know the musical difference between the Spice Girls and Tom Waits. If you suck (and let's face it, plenty of the artists on tour today flat out suck), Montrealers will let you know it. And since they know their music, most of the time they are right on the ball.

Last June, Depeche Mode was roundly booed by the Molson Centre crowd after a half-ass performance consisting of a garbage setlist where they also failed to answer an encore. For the sake of Montrealers, let us hope this was their last performance here.

Finally, you have the dirtbag organization known as Clear Channel, who is responsible for promoting most of today's concert tours (they are also mostly responsible for the crap you hear all over American radio). Ever wonder why most of today's acts play the same venues in Texas, Las Vegas and California? By playing these "safe haven" locations, the artists limit their exposure to uneducated music fans who will pay any ridiculous price to watch garbage peformers.

Really, what do a bunch of hearing impaired old ladies who spend their time dumping money into Vegas slots know about rock music? They are just happy for the cheap thrill of seeing some prune faced rock star shaking his saggy pimply ass on stage. Since they can't hear, they do not care if he cannot even sing in the shower anymore?

Of course, the major labels also control the mainstream wishy washy media in these cities. Chances are, you will never read a truthful concert review from these cities.

Hold on! There may be a silver lining in this dark cloud for Montrealers after all. By staying as far away as possible, these mediocre artists may be doing Montrealers a huge favor. Have you seen the astronomical concert prices today? We have better things to do here than spend money on artists who can only give grandma a rise.

In all seriousness, the Canadian and Quebec government should help out the Canadian music fan by trying to boost the Canadian dollar and dropping the amusement tax. In the long run, such a move should be benefit every Canadian.

Sphinx
"There's Only 1 Station"

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